When am I going learn that everything has an ending? When anything dies, it's gone forever. There's no turning back.. there's no time machines.. there's no restarts. It's crazy how I had this whole post about people who try to avoid letting reality set in and I still do it almost every single day of my life. I don't know why I do the shit I do anymore. Someone told me recently that they don't even know who I am anymore and that I've changed for the worse.. that's the type of shit that fucks me up in the head.. that's the type of shit that leaves me wondering who I really am ..I feel like these past few months I've just been on auto pilot ..and I have no idea how to shut it off. Maybe I need someone to shut it off for me ..what I've learned these past few days is that when something dies, it's not coming back.. I've learned that I need to find myself and who I really am ..and that I need to find a way to shut off auto pilot.. 'cause this isn't the way to live life ..I'm not suppose to live life with all these unanswered questions.